The Misadventures of Luna Lovegood
by Accalia-Aki
Summary: Ever wonder what hilariousness and amazing things Luna experienced in her time at Hogwarts? Well this is just a compilation (In progress) of a couple of those intriguing encounters. Will consist of one-shots.


Cupboard Calamity

There were only a couple of minutes before dinner would be appearing in the great hall and most of the library was left empty of students, but Luna had decided on her way down from the Ravenclaw tower to quickly pop in and grab a book on the many uses of troll mucus to read whilst she ate. Unfortunately the book wasn't exactly popular reading and was shelved near the back of the library.

Walking in she found the library warmly lit the smell of musky tomes and candle wax greeted her. To the lefts were two boys of Ravenclaw, one was bent over some large books, most likely pulling a long study session for the exams in 4 months' time and a girl further back buried into what appeared to be something written by Dolores Umbridge by its frilly pink cover. The second boy was staring almost hungrily over at the girl, who was completely oblivious to his attentions. Luna slipped on her 3rd issue Quibbler glasses to see what was bothering him. She immediately recognised a couple of Ravargearts hovering over him, cackling and flapping their bat-like wings. They tended to inspire lust in their victims.

Luna continued on into the shelves, she'd have to look out for those Ravagearts and warn Professor Dumbledore that if he didn't find a ways to drive them off, he'd have to deal with some students procreating in the library. The tall dusty shelves of books threw deeper and deeper shadows onto Luna as she delved ever further into the library only lightened by the lanterns in the intervening hallways between the shelves, lighting up her wand as she reached the far right back end of the library. Luna searched the shelves for her book; the world tinted the colours red and blue through her glasses. Finding the book she reached up upon her toes grasping the spine with her fingertips. Turning around with the intension of feasting in the great hall she started heading back when up ahead a Ravargeart flew past the end of the shelves in the next hall. Intrigued by its appearance this far back in the library Luna skipped along to follow it, she hadn't encountered anyone else on her way, so what could be attracting the Ravargeart here?

Quickly catching up she followed it further into the library when a sudden light to her right appeared. A furious looking Madam Prince appeared wielding a single lit candle like a weapon. Luna could image smoke billowing out of the women's nose and ears.

Taking a deep shaky breath (shaky with rage) Madame prince demanded "Have you been shouting with a boy back here!?" her voice a sharp whisper. Luna noticed a vein in the librarian's temple pulsating rather violently and decided that Madame Prince was in need of some Nargle dust to calm her down; maybe tonight she could sprinkle some at the librarian's desk before she left.

"No, I came to get this book but then I noticed a Ravargeart back here and decided to follow" Luna replied her eyes glancing over Madame Prince's shoulder seeing the cackling bat had almost reached the end of the hall. Madame Prince took note of the book in Luna's hands and her mouth soured in distaste at the title, completely ignoring the last part of Luna's excuse.

"Should you see anyone suspicious send them to me immediately, I saw them scurry off when they spotted me." Madame Prince ordered, Luna nodded her head with her dreamy smile in response. "And remember to be quiet!"

Then with swift silent steps she swept off into the shelves. Quickly looking down the hall Luna spotted the Ravargeart just disappearing around the corner. Swiftly skipping down the hall she reached the last shelf and peered out around the corner. Ten metres down the wall was a small cupboard and a couple of tables and chairs nothing really of interest except that there were three Ravargearts hovering around the cupboard, the one she had been following joining them. Stepping around the corner she wandered down the hall until she stood in front of the cupboard. It was only a dozen centimetres taller than her and a metre wide and deep. It appeared like any other cupboard so she assumed whatever was special about it must be inside, and whatever was in there was getting one hell of a dose of the hormones the Ravargearts excrete.

Unexpectedly the door of the cupboard rattled followed by a ripping sound and what sounded like little stones dropping to the floor. A groan from what sounded like a boy emitted from the cracks of the cupboard. Luna reached up and pushed her Quibbler issued glasses up the bridge of her nose before reaching for the handle. Wrenching it open she found a curious sight before her. With a ripped shirt and highly dishevelled platinum blond hair was Draco Malfoy and pawing at his chest was one Hermione Granger. Her brown hair a mess more than usual and skirt all bunched up where Draco had dragged it up her legs. They were fiercely shoving their tongues down each other's throats (also known more commonly known as kissing but Luna didn't really see it as the right description for the action going on in front of her). The pair were so influenced by the Ravargeart's that they didn't seem to notice the intrusion and carried on grinding against each other with desperate huffs of breath.

With an airy voice Luna say's "So it only takes four Ravargeart's to get my distant cousin and you to try and procreate? However I do wonder why you chose this particular cupboard, it seems an awful cramped place."

Hermione and Draco freeze in their movements, Draco shoves Hermione away against the opposite wall. They both stare at Luna for what seem hours, chests heaving and eyes wide before Draco bolts shoving Luna to the side and disappearing in the shelves, watching as he is swallowed by the shadows. Turning back Luna finds a completely mortified Hermione covering her face and curling into a ball on the floor of the cupboard.

"Oh my God I can't believe that just happened" Hermione's says in a very small voice, her eyes still wide when she looks up at Luna. She suddenly takes a deep breath and talks extremely fast her voice pleading "You can't tell anyone about this, I didn't even know what happened. We were just shouting at each other over something, I can't even remember, then Madame Prince comes swooping in down the hall and we bolt because she looks positively livid. Somehow Malfoy and I end up hiding in this stupid cupboard and next thing you know were at each other's throats again and then suddenly shouting turns into kissing and prodding turns into groping!" Her hands go to her hair, grasping large tufts of it as if she's planning to rip it out. "He's the most awful person in the world and here I am having a grind with him in a deserted hallway cupboard, I don't know what happened. Please Luna you can't tell anyone. Please, please, please!?" Hermione pleads desperately.

Luna sits down beside her and looks very closely as Hermione's face, gaging her sincerity. Deciding she's telling the truth Luna gives her a small reassuring smile and bobs her head saying "okay, besides I was the Ravargeart's surrounding your cupboard that are responsible"

Hermione nods her head in agreement (albeit with a bewildered expression on her face) before getting up and beginning to straighten her clothes and hair. "Thankyou Luna" Then she shuffles off to leave the library. Luna gets up to join her then as she's about to close the cupboard door she sees a white glints at the floor of it. Reaching down she picks one up finding it to be a white button, one that popped off the ripped Shirt of Malfoy. She tucks it into her pocket before closing the cupboard doors and skipping off to catch up with Hermione.

Souvenir…

After unsuccessfully finding the two horribly loud students who had caused the entire ruckus, Madam Prince was in a very dour mood, the blood in her veins still pumping furiously with rage. She makes her way to her desk with the intent of having Dumbledore speak very sternly to the student body about being quiet in the library. Reaching her chair she's about to sit when she notices a light sprinkling of orange powder on her desk and chair, what by merlins pants is going on? She looks up around the room to see who's around but all she sees is a student reading and two others aggressively making out next to a discarded fluffy pink book. Cringing at the sight she walks over to split them up.

 **AN: Hey! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not a seasoned writer so feedback is appreciated! If you're interested in continuing any of these one-shots feel free to ask me about adopting it through private messaging.**


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